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 Post subject: Retirement Club
PostPosted: Tue Jan 22, 2013 11:36 am 
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Joined: Thu Jan 12, 2012 8:47 am
Posts: 2873
Location: Dog House
I've found a club I can go to when I retire:

Quote:
THERE is still plenty of life in the Last Supper Club, but a new crop of old-timers is being sought to bring in a new dawn for the group.

The macabre club was formed by regulars at The Old Crown in Station Road, Hayes, in 2007 so they could stay in touch following the smoking ban in pubs.

Members have worked out the odds on which of them will ‘kick the bucket’ next.

The mortality ratings are based on factors such as age, health condition and the disposition towards alcohol and cigarettes.

The dozen-or-so core members – whose activities have included stripping for a nude calendar – are still alive and kicking, but meet less frequently. They hope the arrival of a new landlord could enliven the club’s spirit.

Three years ago, club spokesman Mick Hearn was 18/1 to go first. But he survives and his odds are in need of revision.

“It is all very tongue-in-cheek and, although it will never die, we have lost touch because of this no smoking lark,” said Mr Hearn, now in his late 70s.

“The price of a pint has gone up too, and some of the guys haven’t got enough money to come out.

“There is a new landlord here now, but I’m not sure if he quite gets our sense of humour. If he could run price promotions to get pensioners coming in, we could get new people to join.

“Our long-serving chairman, Tommy Blair, is currently in hospital, so we’d like to wish him all the best.”

Landlord Arjit Bhattacharjee: “The people who come here are very good and there is always a great atmosphere.”

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 Post subject: Re: Retirement Club
PostPosted: Tue Jan 22, 2013 2:17 pm 
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Joined: Wed Jan 11, 2012 8:10 pm
Posts: 1061
Location: Farnborough, Hampshire.
:shock: :shock: :shock:


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 Post subject: Re: Retirement Club
PostPosted: Tue Jan 22, 2013 2:59 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jan 16, 2012 8:52 am
Posts: 545
Location: Western Australia
Never thought I'd live to see the day.
:lol: ;)

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 Post subject: Re: Retirement Club
PostPosted: Tue Jan 22, 2013 3:10 pm 
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Joined: Wed Jan 11, 2012 8:10 pm
Posts: 1061
Location: Farnborough, Hampshire.
:lol:


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 Post subject: Re: Retirement Club
PostPosted: Sat Jan 26, 2013 2:28 am 
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Joined: Wed Jan 11, 2012 6:05 pm
Posts: 2807
I posted a Gazette cutting about this club in our old albums once. Shame we lost them.


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 Post subject: Re: Retirement Club
PostPosted: Sat Jan 26, 2013 6:28 am 
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Joined: Wed Jan 11, 2012 10:45 pm
Posts: 43
What a waste of good retirement time. and for those people in their "late 70s"

I belong to a club that meets on a Sunday night . The majoriity who attend are well into their
80's men and women.
married couples. common law couples, and live in partners all attend. My partner and I attend and
really enjoy the company and the music of the 40's,50 and 60's.
No booze permitted. Too many younger folk out their driving after drinking

Life is for living not sitting around moping until you are carried off


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 Post subject: Re: Retirement Club
PostPosted: Sat Feb 02, 2013 12:00 pm 
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Joined: Wed Jan 11, 2012 6:10 pm
Posts: 1461
At first I thought this was funny....Then I realized the awful truth of it. Be sure to read all the way to the end!

Tax his land,
Tax his bed,
Tax the table
At which he's fed.

Tax his work,
Tax his pay,
He works for peanuts
Anyway!

Tax his cow,
Tax his goat,
Tax his pants,
Tax his coat.

Tax his tobacco,
Tax his drink,
Tax him if he
Tries to think.

Tax his car,
Tax his gas,
Find other ways
To tax his ass.

Tax all he has
Then let him know
That you won't be done
Till he has no dough.

When he screams and hollers;
Then tax him some more,
Tax him till
He's good and sore.

Then tax his coffin,
Tax his grave,
Tax the sod in
Which he's laid.

When he's gone,
Do not relax,
It's time to apply
The inheritance tax.

Accounts Receivable Tax
Airline surcharge tax
Airline Fuel Tax
Airport Maintenance Tax
Building Permit Tax
Cigarette Tax
Cooking Tax
Corporate Income Tax
Goods and Services Tax (GST)
Death Tax
Driving Permit Tax
Environmental Tax (Fee)
Excise Taxes
Income Tax
Fishing License Tax
Food License Tax
Petrol Tax (too much per litre)
Gross Receipts Tax
Health Tax
Heating Tax
Inheritance Tax
Interest Tax
Lighting Tax
Liquor Tax
Luxury Taxes
Marriage License Tax
Medicare Tax
Mortgage Tax
Pension Tax
Personal Income Tax
Property Tax
Poverty Tax
Prescription Drug Tax
Real Estate Tax
Recreational Vehicle Tax
Retail Sales Tax
Service Charge Tax
School Tax
Telephone Tax
Value Added Tax
Vehicle License Registration Tax
Vehicle Sales Tax
Water Tax
Workers Compensation Tax
Tax (VAT) on Tax.
And Now they want a blooming Carbon Tax!

STILL THINK THIS IS FUNNY?

Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago, & our nation was one of the most prosperous in the world... We had absolutely no national debt, had a large middle class, a huge manufacturing base, and Mum stayed home to raise the kids.

What in the Hell happened? Could it be the lying parasitic politicians wasting our money?
Oh, and don't forget the relatively new bank charges....
And we all know what we think of Bankers
:( :(

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 Post subject: Re: Retirement Club
PostPosted: Sun Feb 03, 2013 8:56 am 
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Joined: Thu Jan 12, 2012 8:47 am
Posts: 2873
Location: Dog House
The one thing that's really gets me is the foreign aid that we have absolutely no say in. They steal it from our earnings to send abroad to pay for weapons and bribes with very little going into 'aid'.

If only we could say what our taxes were spent on:

UK Hospitals
UK Pensioners (who've paid in)
UK Roads
UK everything else I've forgetten

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