Latest Computer Terminology for the Australian Bush




Rural Australia Computer Terminology -
Getting ready for Joolya's Broadband in the bush!!



· A little bit of Aussie culcha


LOGON: Adding wood to
make the barbie hotter
LOG OFF: Not adding any
more wood to the barbie.
MONITOR: Keeping an
eye on the barbie.
DOWNLOAD: Getting the firewood
off the Ute.
HARD DRIVE: Making the trip
back home without any cold tinnies.
KEYBOARD: Where you hang the
Ute keys.
WINDOW: What you shut
when the weather's cold.
SCREEN: What you shut
in the mozzie season..
BYTE: What mozzies do
MEGABYTE: What Townsville mozzies do.
CHIP: A pub snack.
MICROCHIP: What's left in the
bag after you've eaten the chips.
MODEM: What you did
to the lawns.
LAPTOP: Where the cat sleeps.
SOFTWARE: Plastic knives &
forks you get at Red Rooster.
HARDWARE: Stainless steel
knives & forks - from K-Mart.

MOUSE: The small
rodent that eats the grain in the shed.
MAINFRAME: What holds the shed up.
WEB: What
spiders make.
WEBSITE: Usually in the
shed or under the verandah.
SEARCH ENGINE: What you do when the Ute
won't go.
CURSOR: What you say
when the Ute won't go.
YAHOO: What you say
when the Ute does go.

UPGRADE: A steep hill.
SERVER: The person at
the pub who brings out the counter lunch.
MAIL SERVER: The bloke at the pub
who brings out the counter lunch.
USER: The
neighbour who keeps borrowing things.

NETWORK: What you do when
you need to repair the fishing net.

INTERNET: Where you want the
fish to go.
NETSCAPE: What the fish do
when they discover a hole in the net.

ONLINE: Where you hang
the washing.

OFFLINE: Where the
washing ends up when the pegs aren't strong enough.

It's all true

_________________
When a crash seems inevitable, try to hit the softest, cheapest object in the vicinity as slowly and gently as possible.

Very clever. Who on earth thinks up all these things??

Me!