Pinch his nuts.

SOT, I have had a lot of trouble with squirrels. I strongly recommend you obtain a squirrel trap. I have two. They are a cage constructed of a stout wire with a trigger released trap door at one end. The trap is about 15cms square and about 60cms in length, with the long length laying on the floor/ground, making the trap 15cms wide and 15cms high. There is a bait tray at the closed end of the trap, which when activated causes the trap-door at the other end of the 60cm trap to drop behind the squirrel. I place peanut butter on the bait tray. Squirrels can't resist peanuts.
Between my two traps I have caught as many as 5 squirrels in one day.

Squirrels are officially vermin, and must NOT be released once caught. Squirrels can also be quite nasty and vicious when caught, so it is best NOT to get too close to them without strongly gloved hands once you have them in a trap. They must be humanely killed.

Unless he looks like tufty here....

Red Squirrels I believe are a protected species.

Thanks for your advice

I am going to combine many of your answers and catch the little devil in a trap. Then I intend to get my mole grips and take Jim's advice

Thanks for your advice

I am going to combine many of your answers and catch the little devil in a trap. Then I intend to get my mole grips and take Jim's advice

This is similar to, but not the same as my traps:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Cheese-STV076-S ... rrel+traps
I've been successfully using my traps for the last 12 years.

I had problems with squirrels in the house soffit and fascia. I also used 1/4 chunks of a snickers bar. It took a few days to catch the first one but after the first one the trap probably smelt of squirrel. Caught four so far (hopefully that is all).
The trap appears to be long enough so the tail is not trapped and is quite strong. Tip: if putting it on the roof, make sure it is tied to something (if I hadn't I don't think the squirrel or cage would survive the fall).

3 to catch, 3 caught in 5 days, excellent (it also caught a hedgehog - no damage) Bated with peanuts is best

We loved watching the squirrels in the garden, but after losing the fruit harvest to them, seeing them taking and shredding my shallots, and going into the chicken coop they had to go. The trap was delivered on Saturday, put in the middle of the veg plot with a small hand full of corn, squirrel 1 caught Sunday morning. Taken to a local wood and released. Trap returned to the same spot with 5 hazel nuts on Monday we caught 2 more squirrels within 40 mins, 2 more trips to the same wood. Although we had now caught all the bushy tailed thieves we replaced the trap and yesterday found a large squirrel sitting in there it was very strong and had a good go at the cage but the cage stood up all the pulling and gnawing, another tip to the wood. They just can't resist the hazel nuts

Our bowling club has a big problem with squirrels entering the roof space.They had caused big problems and hundreds of £'s damage to our alarm system and other wiring systems. I installed the cage trap and within a few days we had caught four of them. We are still using the trap with jammy dodger biscuit bait and no doubt we will catch more if they find their way in.

Squirrels seem to get wise very quickly and avoid entering while stealing food through the sides! Surprising, yes, but true!