Thanks Chris .... thats what I'm thinking
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| Author: | jane [ Thu Dec 20, 2012 9:04 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Cemeteries |
I just wonder if anyone on here has had experience of disputes over a grave and how to solve them I'll try and keep it brief .... my dad died in 1987 and was buried in Weybridge cemetery in an unmarked grave. At the time he died he had left my mum and remarried - albeit unhappily and had he not died they would have divorced ... his then wife wasn't the full ticket ! So, after a couple of years my mum, my brothers and myself brought a small marble memorial stone, just with dads name on, his birth and death date and a simple RIP message and put it on his grave. All was fine until about 2 years later when my brother received a letter telling him to remove the memorial. It seems the ex wife had got wind of it and consulted a solicitor. So one Sunday afternoon my brother went and took it off the grave. Next time I visited a new stone was there - an ugly plain thing which looks like an upright paving slab. The ultimate insult is that his ex wife purposely spelt his name wrong ..... In January the ex wife died - and she was cremated and scattered with her 3rd husband so she isn't in my dads grave. Today I contacted Weybridge council to ask if we can put the original memorial back on the grave but have been told we cant unless the deeds were signed over to me which they werent. The only next of kin is this womans daughter but she is an alcoholic and as crazy as her mother so she won't sign anything over ... plus I have no idea where to find her. So I'm wondering if this is it ? Do we have to just accept the fact that my dad is in a grave with the wrong name .... or could we just change the stone anyway ? Its only placed there on a plinth .. not cemented in or anything .... I'd appreciate any advice x |
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| Author: | chris_guest [ Thu Dec 20, 2012 9:14 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Cemetaries |
If the deeds are not in your name I would expect that you could not do it as you do not own the grave, saying that if the daughter is like you say would she ever bother to visit the grave, I would think she wouldn't and so you could just put yours back. Not sure if you are allowed to do this but it could be an option |
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| Author: | jane [ Thu Dec 20, 2012 9:17 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Cemeteries |
Thanks Chris .... thats what I'm thinking
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| Author: | jim [ Thu Dec 20, 2012 10:09 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Cemeteries |
my only thought on the matter you have the same surname, does your Mother? just food for thought as he is your dad a blood relative
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| Author: | Batty bat [ Thu Dec 20, 2012 10:36 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Cemeteries |
Personally, I would go there one night, and just simply put your stone back. I doubt very much, if anybody walks around once a year checking up. |
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| Author: | jane [ Thu Dec 20, 2012 11:21 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Cemeteries |
Jim .. my mum did have the same surname but she died 10 years ago  Batty .... you think the same as me  I think thats what we'll do ....lol. If you see a story in the news about grave robbers - you know who it'll be
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| Author: | Sunshine [ Sat Dec 22, 2012 10:02 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Cemeteries |
I agree! Who is going to notice now the ex wife has gone. Go for it Jane 
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| Author: | jane [ Sun Dec 23, 2012 1:30 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Cemeteries |
The funny thing is, my brother had to remove the first memorial. He walked into the cemetery on a sunny Sunday afternoon with his wheelbarrow .... past people visiting graves, lifted the stone into his barrow .... walked back past the people and said 'good afternoon' and no-one said a word
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